Visions coming out of focus and the pain and heartaches swirl and dance in my head. I cant see.
These thoughts are screaming at me... im losing touch as i reach for that sip to calm my nerves. *sigh* never got used to or liked the taste... and yet with every sip and flow down my throat. the nerves calm, the eyes focus.. that lost smile appears and all of a sudden youre in the moment enjoying life. or arent you?
You see I know how to keep control.. how to have others enjoy their time out with me. have them yearning to be out with me because of the sights theyll see. See? yea... I can see.
Vision getting blurry as I take just one more sip.. How many was that? 1, 2 , 3 shots? its ok i feel fine.
20 min later the laughs become uncontrollable, the body feels numb and the tongue feels oh so heavy. No more pain.
memory and reality start to collide and my walks are no longer straight. time to go home and leave where I am... "One more drink you say?" why not! Fuck it
"where am I" vision blurry.... how did I get here? who is beside me? where are my clothes? My face gets wet and confusion and anxiety take over my body and mind as I start to ponder and recollect my steps from my last shot till ... now. STranger saying good morning as he pulls up his pants but claims nothing happened. Who are you? How did we get here? why is my dress on the floor?
Scared because of past trauma I quickly UBER out of there and go home. God take me away. DOnt think this thing called life is for me.